Chapter Eight

“Father, what is going on here? I almost lost one of my babies a month ago, and now it looks as if I’m losing both of them.” Tess shook her head, wiping tears from her eyes as she stood in the living room, waiting for Monica to return from wherever the young angel had run off to, and wondering how to stop Andrew from leaving. She felt as if everything she knew was falling apart, and she didn’t know how to begin to fix it.

Hearing the Father’s reply, she glanced up at the ceiling. “I’m trying to be patient! But I need to know what to do to sort this whole mess out... I know things happen in Your time, but just for once I need it to happen in my time, before I feel like I lose those two forever.”

***

Andrew had been sitting on his bed staring at the wall since he’d arrived back at the house almost an hour ago. And he had no idea of what he was doing, or why this whole situation was affecting him so badly. Normally a patient angel, he wasn’t prone to outbursts of anger- unless something had really upset him. And he couldn’t help but feel frustrated at Monica’s stubbornness and the way she’d pushed him away when all he was doing was trying to help her.

He’d spoken to the Father, asking for forgiveness for his anger, but he knew that forgiveness wouldn’t be forthcoming until he was willing to forgive Monica. And he wasn’t ready for that. Dropping his gaze to the floor, he sighed heavily. “I just don’t get it. When did things suddenly get this bad?”

For a long time all was silent, until suddenly Andrew felt another urge in his heart, another feeling that seemed to come from Monica. But this time it wasn’t fear, it was sadness. “Great, now I’m imagining things.” Shaking his head, he got to his feet, feeling a need to do something, anything, to take his mind off of Monica. He left the room, intending to go outside, when he saw Tess sitting in the living room, crying. “Tess...?”

“I don’t want to lose both of you, Andrew...”

“You’re not losing us... you’re not losing me. I just can’t stay here right now, that’s all. I don’t have any issues with you, Tess, no matter what is going on between me and Monica. And... I’m sorry for the way things are turning out.”

“I thought you loved that Angel Girl...”

Andrew frowned. “I do love her, Tess. More than anything. She’s like... she’s like no other angel I’ve ever met.” His eyes glazed over with sadness.

But Tess didn’t see that, as her sorrow was gradually turning to frustration. “Then why are you throwing away your friendship with her?”

“You make it sound like it’s all my fault, Tess! But she’s the one who pushed me away... and until she’s willing to talk to me, there’s nothing I can do.” He sighed heavily. “Look, I’m going out for a while, okay? I need some air.” Andrew walked out of the house before Tess could say another word.

====================

Chapter Nine

Monica stopped walking when she suddenly realized that she had no idea where she was, or how far she’d gone from the beach house. And it made her feel nervous. For ever since arriving at the house about a month ago, she’d never ventured far from it, feeling wary of straying too far. She harbored a fear of humans now, not able to trust them as she had done before the assignment in Whisper, the main reason why she no longer wanted to return to casework.

Shivering slightly, the young angel sat down on a nearby rock and for a moment just listened to the waves lapping against the rocks, wishing the sound would comfort her as it used to do. But now so much had changed, nothing seemed the same as it had done a few months ago, before her last assignment had started. And the worst change was in her relationship with her best friend, something that she knew she was responsible for, but yet she’d only had good intentions.

Since that night so many weeks ago, when Andrew had told her that he’d been taken by the demons, she’d had a strong urge to protect him from that ever happening to him again. An urge so strong in fact, that it had caused her to end up being taken instead. And now that she’d survived that experience, and understood just how traumatizing the memories of it were, she still wanted to protect Andrew by making sure he didn’t have to relive it again, for that was the depth of her love for him.

And it was why she didn’t want his help now. Both he and Tess had helped her during her first couple of weeks after being rescued, but it had only been since they’d gone back to work that she’d had time alone- too much time alone- to do nothing but think about what she’d been through, without anyone or anything to take her mind off of it. And the memories had not only left her feeling confused and afraid, but they’d made her realize that if she talked to Andrew about it, he’d remember what happened to him. And she didn’t want that, not if it did to him what it was doing to her.

“But I didn’t want to push you away, either, Andrew. I love you so much- the last thing I want is to be apart from you.” She sniffed back a few tears. She hadn’t wanted to distance herself from either of her friends, but she was feeling so much fear and confusion that it was hard to put her emotions into words- and that made it difficult to talk to either of her friends. She felt trapped, unable to talk to Tess, even if she did know what to say, because her supervisor didn’t really understand what she’d gone through. The only one who did was Andrew- and she couldn’t talk to him in case it brought back painful memories for him.

With no one to turn to, and her implicit trust in humans broken, Monica felt like she had no future. She saw her existence stretching out in front of her like the beach, unending and unchanging. She hated to sleep because her nights were filled with bad dreams, and she’d more or less given up on eating as she had no appetite anymore. And now she was losing her best friend, and couldn’t bear to even think about returning to the job she’d once loved.

“What is there left for me now, Father?”

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Chapter Ten

Tess had been called away on assignment and she was glad to go, if only to get away from the emptiness of the beach house. She left a note to say where she was, and this was what Andrew found when he got back to the house late in the afternoon, after spending time doing nothing but walking and thinking, trying to clear his head and trying to talk to the Father about what was happening, hoping for answers. But none were forthcoming, and the blond angel knew that these problems were not for the Father to sort out- it had to be up to him and Monica.

Despite his anger and hurt toward the youngest angel, Andrew still cared about her, and so he was concerned to find that she hadn’t arrived back at the house, and he had no idea where she was. So he asked the Father to keep her safe, knowing that he couldn’t bring himself to go out and look for her- she’d made it clear already that his presence wasn’t welcome, and he didn’t think he’d be able to bear another rejection from her.

So Andrew made himself something to eat and sat alone in the beach house as the sun sank low in the sky, wondering when the house had begun to feel so cold and unwelcoming. As the hours passed and it grew dark, his heart told him to go search for the little Irish angel who still hadn’t returned. After all, it wasn’t like her to stay out at night- he knew how much she hated the darkness. But as he debated whether or not to go out, still unwilling to face her, he heard the door open and looked up to see Monica walking past the living room, her head down. She didn’t seem to notice him there, and he made no attempt to speak to her.

Hearing her bedroom door close, and now relieved that she was back safely, Andrew retired to his room, knowing that Tess would probably not be back until the following day. He hoped the older angel would be back in time to say goodbye, as he didn’t know when he would see her again.

***

Monica lay in her bed, thinking she was alone in the house, when she heard someone enter the room next door and realized that Andrew was there. And she was hurt to realize that he hadn’t spoken to her when she’d got back. Things were much worse than she’d thought, much worse than she wanted them to be, and so the little angel curled up on her bed and cried, vowing to speak to Andrew in the morning and try to save the friendship that she was terrified of losing.

***

When Andrew awoke early the next morning, he heard the voice of the Father giving him instructions for his next assignment, which he would have to leave for quite soon. Ready to return to work, he searched for Tess and was pleased to find her in the kitchen, drinking a mug of hot chocolate. “Tess... I’m glad you’re awake- I didn’t want to go without saying goodbye.” As Tess looked up, he continued, “I have an assignment- I have to leave in a few minutes.”

“Okay, baby. If that’s what you want.” Tess didn’t sound angry, just sad.

“It is, Tess. It’s what I need to do.” He sighed. “I... I don’t know when I’ll see you again... I’ve asked the Father not to put me on assignments with you- I didn’t want to be working closely with you if Monica goes back to casework. I hope you understand...”

With tears in her eyes, Tess got to her feet and moved to hug him tightly. Pulling back, she looked into his eyes with an expression of love and regret. “Angel Boy, you do what you need to do. I won’t pretend that I’m not upset, because I am. But I’m trying to understand your reasons, baby. Now, you just take care of yourself, okay? I want to know that you’re alright even when I can’t see you anymore.”

“I will, Tess. And you take care too, okay?” He hesitated. “And... look after Monica. Tell her...” He sighed. “Just... take good care of her. She needs you, Tess.”

Tess frowned. “Aren’t you going to say goodbye to her?”

Andrew shook his head. “No... I think it’s best if I just go. I don’t think I could face another argument with her.”

“Are you sure? You don’t know how long...” Andrew interrupted her with a shake of his head. “I’ve made up my mind. This is the best way.” He moved to the door. “I-I have to go... bye, Tess.”

“Goodbye, Angel Boy.”

Andrew nodded and walked out of the house, and once outside, he vanished from sight.

***

Inside the house, Tess was still crying when Monica walked into the kitchen, bleary-eyed from yet another mostly sleepless night- after crying for most of the night she’d finally gotten to sleep about three a.m., and had only woken just minutes before. But she became concerned when she saw Tess crying. “Tess? What’s wrong?”

Her supervisor looked up and wiped her eyes. “He’s gone, baby.”

“What?”

“Andrew’s gone back to work- and he won’t be working with us anymore.” She shook her head. “It’s not going to be the same without him.” She looked up to see the distraught look on Monica’s face. “Angel Girl?”

“I wanted to talk to him this morning, to try and... but now it doesn’t matter. I guess he didn’t care anyway, or he would have at least said goodbye.” Monica turned on her heels and ran out of the room.

====================

Chapter Eleven

Andrew completed his assignment and even managed to stop thinking about Monica for a while. But once he was on his own again, with time to spare before his next assignment, the hurt started coming back, although since leaving the beach house his anger toward the younger angel had faded. It was a strange feeling to be apart from his friends after working with them for so long, and he couldn’t deny that he missed their company.

But he didn’t want to go back. What he missed, he realized, was the way things used to be- the three of them enjoying their assignments, sharing a laugh together. He wanted that back- to see Monica smile again, to listen to her innocent questions about the world around her, not the sad, quiet, even angry angel that she’d now become.

And now, as he sat by a small lake in a park on the outskirts of town, trying to find peace with his thoughts, Andrew wondered if he’d ever want to go back to working with Tess and Monica again, because he wasn’t sure how things could ever be the same as they had been. And those feelings scared him.

“Do you mind if I sit down?”

Andrew looked up to see an elderly woman smiling warmly at him. “Oh, no... please...” He shuffled sideways to make room for her and watched as she slowly lowered herself onto the bench. “These old bones aren’t what they used to be.” She watched him carefully for a moment. “You know, you look sad. Something on your mind?”

Somewhat surprised at her question, Andrew wasn’t sure how to answer, and so the old woman continued. “I watch people a lot- have done ever since my Charlie passed away last spring.”

“Oh.. I’m sorry.” Andrew looked at her compassionately but the woman shook her head. “Oh, don’t be. I miss him a lot, but... we had so many good times together. Do you know we were married for over fifty years?”

“Wow. That’s really something.”

“Yes... yes it is. Me and Charlie, we were so much in love...” She frowned. “Is it your girlfriend? I don’t see a ring.” She pointed at his hands and Andrew couldn’t help but chuckle. “Well, she’s... she’s not my girlfriend. And you’re right, I’m not married.”

The woman nodded knowingly. “But she’s someone you love very much, I can see it in your eyes.” Leaning closer, she spoke in a lowered voice, as if divulging a state secret. “Don’t let her go. No matter what has happened- if you love her as much as your eyes are telling me, then she’s worth holding on to.”

“I... I don’t know what to say... it’s kind of complicated...” Andrew sighed, wondering why he was talking to a complete stranger about Monica, but at the same time feeling a need to tell this kind woman what was on his mind. “We... had an argument... kind of. She’s upset over something that happened to her... something that has changed her...” He sighed, turning to look out over the small lake. “I just want her back the way she used to be...”

Feeling a hand on his arm, Andrew turned back to the old woman, who was watching him sadly. “Things might have changed, but she’s still the same person, deep down inside. And isn’t that what counts?” Looking down at her watch, she shook her head. “Well, I need to be getting back, I’m having lunch with my grandchildren.” She smiled and as she tried to get up, Andrew got to his feet and helped her.

“Do you want me to walk you anyplace?”

“Oh, no, my dear. I’ll be just fine, I love the fresh air, and besides, it’s not too far.” She smiled warmly at him again. “But you just remember what I said. Love is worth fighting for, believe me.”

And with that, the elderly stranger turned and walked away, leaving Andrew standing by the lake, a sad smile on his face.

====================

Chapter Twelve

“Oh, Father, what am I to do? I-I thought Andrew cared about me, and now... now he’s gone and it’s all my fault because I’ve pushed him away when all I wanted to do was to protect him. A-and I don’t know how to get him back.” Monica allowed the tears to stream down her face as she sat on a rock near the shoreline, looking skywards. “I’ve messed everything up... and I don’t know how to fix it. Please, Father... help me to make things right.”

As she heard the gentle voice of the Father telling her to be patient, and that He loved her, Monica nodded, trying to smile through her tears but it wasn’t enough. She wanted Andrew... no, she needed Andrew, to be with her right now. And nothing anyone could say or do would fix that, until she could see him again.

Monica almost jumped with fright when she felt something nuzzle her leg and she looked down to see a medium-sized, scruffy-looking dog standing next to her, looking up at her with bright, wet eyes and an extremely waggy tail. “Well, hello there, wee fella.” Monica sniffed, wiping her eyes. “Where did you come from?”

Suddenly afraid that there might be someone nearby, Monica looked around her- but the beach was empty for as far as she could see. Puzzled, she looked down at the dog again, frowning as she searched his collar for a name tag, but there was none. Nothing to indicate who he was, or where he’d come from. “Well, there’s nothing here to say who you are, wee one.” She tilted her head to the side, taking in his somewhat tangled brown fur and floppy ears, one of which sat up higher than the other.

“You’re a sight, aren’t you? But cute, too.” Managing a smile, Monica petted the dog’s head, which made his tail wag even harder, if that were possible. For a moment Monica felt like someone, or something, still cared about her, and that lifted her spirits slightly. But then that all changed when the dog let out a small bark and ran off, back down the beach away from the house. “Hey! Where are you going?”

The dog stopped and turned, watching Monica for a moment, then let out another bark before turning and running away till it was out of sight. Saddened, Monica shrugged her shoulders, breathing in deeply and trying to avoid the next set of tears that she could feel were coming. “Well, I guess you have somewhere to go, wee one. Somewhere where you feel welcome.” She turned her gaze to the beach house, which was just a small blob on the horizon. “You’re lucky.”

====================

Chapter Thirteen

“Miss Wings, where have you been?”

The greeting that Monica got when she finally arrived back at the beach house later that morning wasn’t too pleasant, and she almost wished she’d stayed outside. But, it was starting to rain and was getting colder so she’d reluctantly gone back to the house. Not daring to look up at her supervisor, she only mumbled. “I-I was out on the beach...”

Tess stood with her hands on her hips, glaring at her young charge. Time alone in the house all morning had given the older angel plenty of time to miss Andrew and to feel anger toward the little angel whom she held responsible for her ‘Angel Boy’ leaving. “And do you think that’s going to solve all your problems? Sitting watching the ocean?”

“I-I... I didn’t want to be here, Tess... not without Andrew...”

“And do you know why Andrew left, Miss Wings? Because of you, that’s why! That poor boy has tried to reach out to you but all you did was push him away. You won’t talk to him, and you don’t seem to want to talk to me, either. And I don’t know what’s gotten into you! But sitting around, moping and wallowing in self-pity isn’t gonna help you, and it’s certainly not gonna help you get Andrew back, that’s even if he wants to come back after all this.”

Shocked, Monica lifted her head, shaking with sadness and fear. “I-I didn’t mean to make him leave, Tess! I was only...” She paused as more tears started to fall. “Excuse me...” And she ran off to her room, closing the door and leaning against it, sinking down to the floor as heavy sobs wracked her body. “I-I’m so sorry, Andrew... I miss you so much, a-and I wish.... I wish you were here with me...”

***

Out in the living room, Tess felt some regret over the way she’d spoken to Monica, but she was still angry at her. She’d known Andrew a long time, since long before she’d started working as Monica’s supervisor, but now, the little Irish angel had taken Andrew away from her. And Tess couldn’t help but blame Monica for that, feeling that whatever had gone on between the young angel and Andrew, it shouldn’t have affected her friendship with the Angel of Death she loved so dearly.

Hearing the voice of the Father, Tess nodded and wiped her eyes before leaving the house to go to another assignment. She didn’t bother to say goodbye to Monica before she left.

***

Andrew checked his pocket watch and started walking slowly along the darkened street to the apartment complex, making his way inside. He sighed as he slowly walked up the stairs, choosing not to take the elevator, and as he walked along the corridor he hesitated outside one of the doors, glancing once more at his watch, waiting. Until it was time, and then he was inside the apartment, glowing with the Father’s heavenly love as he knelt down beside the unmoving form of the elderly woman who lay slumped in her armchair, holding an old photograph in her hands.

When he realized who the woman was, Andrew smiled sadly. “Eadie... I’m Andrew, and... I’ve come to take you Home.” He glanced down at the black and white picture, of a young couple very much in love. So this was her Charlie, he thought.

As he took Eadie’s hand and they began to walk toward the light, the elderly woman, now moving more freely without the stiffness of arthritis, turned to Andrew. “Will I see my Charlie again now, Andrew?” The Angel of Death smiled. “Yes, you will. He’s waiting for you, Eadie.”

Satisfied, Eadie smiled. “I just knew there was something different about you, when I met you in the park today.” Andrew chuckled at her words. “So tell me, is this girl of yours an angel too?” Andrew nodded. “Then I just know she’s someone special.”

As they disappeared into the light, Andrew smiled. “Yes, she is...”

====================

Chapter Fourteen

Monica had stayed in her room for quite a while, crying on and off and wondering why things had gone so badly wrong between her and her supervisor. She felt as miserable as the weather, and after her tears had finally dried the little Irish angel knew she couldn’t let things continue as they were. Getting up off the floor where she’d been sitting, she wiped her eyes and opened the door, stepping out into the hall tentatively. As she walked into the living room, and then the kitchen, she realized there was no sign of her supervisor. Frowning, she checked Tess’ room but it soon became apparent that Tess was nowhere to be found.

“Oh, Tess, where are you?”

Feeling like she was going to cry again, and hating that she’d cried so much over the past few days, Monica moved to the window, looking out over the ocean, and noticed the rainbow that had appeared in the sky now that the rain had stopped. The sight of it lifted her spirit slightly, and for a moment she just gazed at it, willing it to stay but after a minute it faded before disappearing completely. Everything leaves, eventually. And everyone.

Letting out a sigh Monica turned away, but not before a movement had caught her eye and she looked to see the same scruffy dog she’d met earlier, standing on the beach just a few meters away, looking up at the house. It was soaked to the skin, its tail wagging forlornly as it stood there, watching, waiting. “Oh, the poor wee thing...” The young angel rushed to the door and ran outside, and as she did so, the dog ran to her, wagging its tail harder.

Monica crouched down and petted the dog, feeling it shivering slightly in the cool air. “You’re cold, wee fella. How about I take you inside and dry you off, huh? Come on.” She went back inside, looking to make sure that the dog followed, which it did. Once inside the house Monica found a clean towel and draped it over the dog, rubbing its fur vigorously until it was drier. “There. That’s much better.” The dog looked up at the angel, looking happier than it had done outside.

“Okay, are you hungry? Let’s find you something to eat.” Monica walked into the kitchen, followed by the dog, and after some searching by the young angel, the animal was soon eating a plate of tinned ham, obviously hungry. After it had finished it went to the door and whined, pawing at the door. Frowning, Monica opened the door and let it out, but was surprised when the dog started to run away. “Hey! Come back!” But the dog simply turned and looked at her, before running a bit further away, stopping every few feet to turn and look back.

“Where are you going?” Shrugging her shoulders, Monica sighed. She was at first tempted to just let the dog go, but something compelled her to go with it, and besides, two angels had walked out on her lately- she wasn‘t about to let a dog walk out on her too. “Alright then, just let me get my coat and I’ll take you for a wee walk.” She put on her coat and hat and stepped out of the house, running to catch up with the dog who was now waiting for her. “Okay, I’m here. Now where are we going?” But the dog just continued walking, wagging its tail happily as Monica walked alongside.

Only when Monica had reached the rocks at the far side of the beach, which was as far as she’d ever gone before, did she turn and look back at the house, now so far away. And she suddenly knew without a doubt that if she went any further, she would never come back. This realization made her hesitate for a moment but then she remembered the cold hard truth- Andrew was gone, and she didn’t know when Tess was coming back, if she was even coming back at all.

“No one will miss me...”

That thought made Monica feel that she might start crying again, until a soft whimper broke into her thoughts and she looked down to see the dog sitting patiently by her side, looking up at her with eyes full of love. “Well, I suppose it’s just you and me now, wee one... you’re as lost and alone as I am.” The dog pricked up its ears, tilting its head to one side, and Monica leaned down to it. “I’ll tell you what. I promise to be your friend if you’ll be my friend. And I won’t hurt your feelings or get angry at you, okay?”

The dog wagged its tail and stood up happily, and then the little angel and the scruffy dog walked further along the beach, further away from the house, until anyone who might have been in the beach house would no longer have been able to see them.

====================

Chapter Fifteen

Andrew was lost. Not physically; he’d always had a keen sense of direction; but emotionally, he was a ship out in the middle of the ocean during a thunderstorm. He didn’t know what his feelings were because they seemed to change from minute to minute, and he desperately needed to find some peace. So with some time off before his next assignment, he found himself walking through God’s country, surrounded by the peace that he hoped could reach his troubled heart.

“Father... I don’t know where to begin. I wanted so badly to help Monica, to see her through this, but... then it all changed, and...” He shook his head sorrowfully. “And suddenly I was angry toward her, a-and I know that is wrong, Father, and I hope You will forgive me. But, I just... don’t know where to begin to sort this. I thought I wanted time apart from Monica, and from Tess, but now I’m here, I feel... empty, like part of me is missing...”

Sighing heavily, Andrew continued to walk, hands in his pockets as the gentle breeze blew his hair away from his face. Nothing seemed to make any sense, and he hoped... he prayed... that his feelings would become clear soon.

He smiled softly as he remembered Eadie’s words to him, now understanding that it wasn’t coincidence that had caused her to sit down beside him near the lake. Her words kept running though his mind, and he knew that what she’d said had made sense, just like what Tess had tried to tell him had made sense.

And as the blond Angel of Death looked up into the perfectly clear blue sky, he suddenly felt overwhelmed with a desire to see Monica again. Tess had been right; the love he felt for the sweet Irish angel was too strong to be broken easily... he’d just been too blind to see that, confused by anger and frustration. Time apart from his friends had made him miss them both, as well as calming his anger toward them, and he knew that to be apart from them was not the answer.

With renewed hope, Andrew took one look around him before he lifted his gaze to the heavens, smiling through tears. “Father... I want to go back... I need to see Monica again. I know what I have to do now.”

But the tears of joy turned to sadness as the Father’s gentle words floated down to Andrew’s heart. His request had been denied; he was to stay on assignment, and not return to the beach house.

***

“You know, if we’re going to be friends then I think we should introduce ourselves.” Monica stopped in her tracks and then the dog stopped and sat down, watching her as if waiting to see what she would say next. “I’m Monica. And you are...” The young angel thought for a moment, frowning. “You don’t have a name, wee one... at least not one that I know of. So, let’s see... how about Scruffy?”

The dog looked up at Monica and whined.

“Okay then, how about... Brownie? Your fur is brown, after all.” But the dog lay down, putting its head on its front paws. “Okay, so that sounds too much like food. So what I am going to call you, you wee rascal?” At this, the dog pricked up its ears, and then Monica smiled. “Rascal. Perfect.” She nodded and Rascal got up, evidently pleased with his new name for he wagged his tail furiously. Monica leaned down and petted him and then they set off walking again.

“I have no idea what sort of a dog you are, Rascal. I’m not very good at things like that, but Andrew, he’d know what you were...” Monica’s voice trailed off as her smile faded. She had been so intent on following the dog that she’d put aside all thoughts of her friends and her troubles, but now she’d thought about her dear angelic friend again, the sadness came back.

“But I mustn’t think about it. I’m alone now... well, apart from you, Rascal.” She looked up, scanning her surroundings, for the first time really realizing where she was. By now, they’d been walking for over an hour, stopping occasionally to rest, and Monica had simply followed the dog while he led her away from the beach and now they were heading through an open area of ground. So far they’d come across no one else, and no roads, but as they kept on walking Monica saw a car up ahead in the distance and she paused, fear gripping her heart at the thought of coming into contact with any humans.

Rascal also stopped, looking up at the young angel and whining. “No... I can’t go there. I can’t...” She shoved her hands into her coat pockets, suddenly shivering but it wasn’t from the cold. For a long moment she stood there, watching the road as another car drove past. She was about to turn on her heels and go back when she realized that she didn’t actually know where she was, so where would she go back to?

Sighing, she dropped her gaze and as tears filled her eyes, she sank down onto the ground and pulled her knees to her chest, lowering her head as the tears started to fall. And then a cold, wet muzzle snuffled at her face as Rascal whimpered softly, refusing to leave the young angel’s side.

====================